Besotted with the Beloved: a few Vignettes from my Journey

A Meandering Personal Share, including Meaning; Transcendence;
Sharing ‘worship’ Possibility; Intellectual Agnostic; Mystic; Jesus & Mary;
Delicious, Direct Spiritual Experience BEYOND Belief, Behavior, our Baggage…


At least since my double digits, it’s become increasingly clear to me: I am more

  • fascinated by religion, mythology, the questions of
    why we here and how this all works and what its all for;
  • interested in God, and how to really connect with God;
  • motivated to Live my life, optimally savoring fullness and alignment with Love & Truth

than it seems most folks around me are.
This isn’t good or bad, right or wrong – it just IS.
How do you relate?

When I was 17, I was blessed to be invited to a house-church
where the Love of God – directly and between us –
was Palpable for me.

Connecting with the Transcendent,
Communicating with the Holy,
Communing in the Oneness,
Consummating Relationship

Eating Sacred Truth & Drinking Sacred Love,
Basking in the Beloved, with full-focus.
was REAL in my Soul.

Sure it was not Eden, there were issue with people, theology, etc.
(Of course I love those people – and many are still my friends ; )

I’m grateful: I was so blessed to savor a Taste of where I wanted to Live;
where I Live NOW more than I ever thought possible, and there’s More to come!

I wanted to be able to Share this Possibility, this Experience with others.
But I didn’t know How,
except with a Gifted & Talented Worship Leader(s)/ Cantor,
and (often less-so) singing and playing guitar on my own.

Back then, I needed the Music, to get to the ‘worship’ experience.
I found some others could utilize the Music to have a similar experience;
and some couldn’t – it was just the human emotional experience, at best.

Anyway, one of my personal goals became
finding an on-ramp to help others connect
with this Delicious, Direct Spiritual Experience
– in themselves, their own soul.

This may be a useful time to note:
I’m an intellectual agnostic since my mid-teens
– intellectually all this spiritual stuff makes no sense to me (yet, I am a mystic)

Around when I turned 12, I had a visitation from Mother Mary
that was very Intense for me at the time;
right before my Roman Catholic Confirmation.

This made very clear to me,
the pretense of the religious authorities was all smoke and mirrors,
most had no magic.

I began the process of releasing
the power of the church and its authorities over me.

Of course, I became enamored with Science (which I still am!)
Eventually, I no longer believed in ‘God’,
but I was committed to Love & Truth.

So, I was identified as an Agnostic,
I didn’t intellectually believe in God or spiritual stuff
when I joined the House-church, and welcomed the Gifts of the Spirit.

The only way I knew how to do this, was:
I ‘gave my head to God’.

That worked Great – for awhile 😉
But, only for a year… a very nice Honeymoon!

At 18, in my first year in college, the Divine Voice told me:
it was time to get my head back.

I said NO NO NO!
But, that was what happened.

A year later I was in full-blown (what is now called) Deconstruction.
London Bridges falling down…
WHAT A MESS!  That was over 40 years ago.


But there is a method to all the madness, I couldn’t see at the time,
And, I fought it, every step of the way.

A couple decades later, I began Mystic Training
because I was literally sick unto death, and nothing helped – only hurt.
I saw this way of inner transformation was the way of healing
and could train me as a Healthy Healer.

(I was called as a healer righter after I turned 30,
but I ‘took on’ Everyone’s Stuff – very unhealthy For ME!)

My Beliefs
Got me ever more STUCK, and made this transition Very Hard.
Along with my Shame
– not wanting to be seen & therefore judged
– How else could it be? Little did I know!

But I did eventually drag myself kicking and screaming
Into Soul training & practice:

  • first in (non-academic) Mystic Seminary
    (4 intense years & really the learning, growth, change… never ends!)
  • and then in the work I do (Professionally since 2005).

The core of which is:

Assisting folks to be blessed by Direct Spiritual Experience,
to Savor Soul Senses, together with Spiritual Discernment,
to be blessed within & to naturally share the fruit & gifts with their world
– each in our own unique way.

Of course, a central aspect of this is:
Beholding and Reflecting as in a mirror the Glory,
and transformed by that Glory, into evermore glory

(you might recognize that as how Paul of the Christian bible speaks of it)

I could quote many spiritual folks in different ways, but I will leave it at that.
I help folks effectively do what some call ‘worship’.
But we don’t need Music to do it;
and it’s not by telling God how great God is, or anything like that.

‘worship’ is just BEing.
One doesn’t have to BELIEVE a certain thing,
or PERFORM in a certain way, to get there.

Funny enough Jesus told me this ~6 years ago,
but I had some trouble believing him, then.
I don’t anymore!

This is what happened:
7 1/2 years ago, I had been called back into the ‘Church’
after decades being out of the institution.
Turns out I stayed for 2 years, until I was called out again.

This was a Great Blessing in healing my relationship with Church & Christians.
and making my difference there
and being unexpectedly blessed with connections
as well as the Sunday and Yearly structures.

It was the Episcopal church on the corner of our street in Ballard, Seattle.
And it turns out they had been an important part of the
Great move of the Spirit back in the 60’s-70’s.
SEE: Nine O’Clock In The Morning by Dennis J. Bennett

By the time I finished reading that book, I was SO PISSED.
All this REALizing spirit IN a decent hunk of the Western Church
– into lives, the world.

Where the F is this happening now?
Why did it have to die-down, again?

So I had a vociferous conversation with Jesus about this!
This was a REAL Movement of Spirit among so Many Christians,
and now it’s NOT!

He said, the stuff that had been happening was great,
but, it was too tied to belief and behavior.

One does not need to make any certain Confession of Faith
or have a Born-again Experience or agree to the Four Spiritual Laws…
become a certain kind of religious/ church person,
to PLAY with Jesus or Dance with the Divine!

I certainly agreed, but I was dubious. I was like:
Jesus that sounds like too much aligned with where you have led me,
so it’s hard to believe.
But HE DID LEAD ME HERE – so why not?

Anyway, that’s the gist of what he said, so long ago,
and – what do you know?
-> that is the frame of the December Intensive I am sharing:

Jesus didn’t have people jump through doctrinal hoops, ethical configurations,
get all their shit together BEFORE engaging, blessing, transforming with him.

He asked folks to follow him.
To let go of what was in the WAY of following him.
iF they chose to be his disciple – then, to soul die and follow him.
(imoe, lather, rinse, repeat)

From my experience
having to Believe, Behave, and deal with our Baggage…
are things that have a tendency to get in the Way
of just JUMPING IN and Playing with Jesus
& Delightfully Dancing with the Divine.

So, these are not pre-requisites for the Dancing with the coming INTENSIVE.

Sure, AS we Deliciously, Delightfully Dance with the Divine,
these may shift; If You Choose.
But that’s Alignment you will find with your Source;
Between you and Your Direct, Real-time interface with Jesus.

I hope you participate in this December INTENSIVE
when it suits your schedule, replays are available for those who engage.
We start December 1st And go all Month – woo hoo!


Welcome to December INTENSIVE:
Savoring ‘Spiritual Communion’ with the One & each one

Read more than you will ever want to, here:
Dancing with the Divine w/ Master Jesus

DECEMBER: Dancing with the Divine w/ Master Jesus:
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