I had been very depressed
or dealing with a lot of melancholy and overwhelm
almost my whole adult life, almost 20 years.
Then my experience changed, dramatically.
Here is some of my story of HOW I went
from mostly Hell on earth, to mostly Heaven on earth,
from Surviving to Thriving:
By the time I finally dedicated myself to Soul Practice
I had been Stuck & Desperate,
mostly house-bound and often bed-ridden, for many years
– rolling down ever further into despair.
It could take me 15 minutes
to get out of bed, go down a couple flights of stairs, and walk 3 blocks.
I had to stop to rest on the way.
I hadn’t been able to work (or play very much) for years.
I had tried many different avenues for wellness, all over the country
– traditional and non-traditional doctors & healers.
Nothing made me better and some stuff made me worse
– sometimes horribly worse!
9 months after dedicating to Soul Practice
I had dropped 40 pounds without trying – because I could MOVE!
I could work half-time – what a Blessing – and PLAY some – howlelujah.
I found a naturopath that helped me start to get real leverage in my wellness.
I was like – OMG, I gotta learn how to share this shit – it Really works!
Although, at that time
I couldn’t imagine myself being, saying, doing what that took:
I was still too psychologically broken, intellectually resistant, soul young
to even imagine being a spiritual teacher.
Here’s a bit of what happened for me:
As I said, I had been very depressed or mostly melancholy
almost my whole adult life, ~20 years.
And then I was in a different place!
Which was continually challenging, but in a useful way:
– able to see and to CLEAR the crap that held me down
– able to learn HOW to stop being a victim to
feelings, beliefs, past experiences, internal structures & habits…
I still have to do the work,
but I GET TO DO THE WORK!
This work, PLAY
has allowed me to be able to shift
and enjoy real change in my experience, dramatic shifts:
More Life, Abundantly Overflowing!
Instead of getting ‘rolled in the alley’ on the regular,
- depression, suicidal ideation, shame, anxiety, overwhelm, c-ptsd, addiction…
- long-term effects of trauma & abuse…
- chronic illness & injury, fatigue & pain…
So Instead of Just Suffering, on and on,
in my Soul, then in my body, life & world:
I can Let Go and Let God
I can ACT when that is the WAY.
Another way to say this is:
God, grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
I CAN do all this: Howlelujah
I GET to do this: Howlelujah
And, I am STILL doing this: Howlelujah
And, I’m far, FAR from done.
But now life is so Rich
and I have so much access to the Light, Love, Truth, Beauty, Glory… within,
whenever I bother to look.
Essentially in my soul I journeyed through an intense process,
with many amazing outcomes,
Here is an important one, which makes so much of the above conversion, possible:
I went from IT is Happening TO me
(one could say: Victim energy and Patterns – being Dominated)
to *I* am happening TO it
(one could say Captain of my own ship/ soul – taking Dominion)
This is a Giant shift into growing Agency:
(the culminating fruit of the spirit in greek is ‘Mastery from within’)
- and Empowered in Relationship with ALL my Relations
(especially with my Rich & multi-voiced inner-world)
I want to be CLEAR
I DID NOT really WANT to engage with the Soul Practice.
I did it because I Had to.
Yes, I loved the Divine and wanted to serve Spirit and All.
Yes, I loved my Partner & my People & Momma Earth.
Yes, I loved Life & I wanted to PLAY with all my relations.
Yes, I loved being called as a ‘Healer Becoming’, which I was hungry to fulfill.
This was the carrot.
But the Stick is what got me in Action,
got me over all that stopped me.
OH, I was Mighty STUCK!
I had looked high and low all over the country for years,
for what I knew was out there, that could help me be well.
And when I found it – I ran away from it!
I had Big Theological, Intellectual, Psychological, Psychic/Energetic…
It was the Way for me, and I WOULD NOT do it.
So I kept Suffering and everything kept getting Worse.
But eventually, I saw spiritually, very clearly:
I was going 100 miles an hour toward a concrete wall,
and if I didn’t engage my body, soul, spirit differently
– really dedicate to a new way of BEing through Learning and Practice –
my life would be over, soon, in a very painful way.
SO, I dedicated to the Soul Practice,
although the energetic & body push-back was Intense, especially at first!
I have found in myself (and so many others)
it is my own isometrics that causes so much additional Friction.
But I DID IT, and I KEEP DOING IT, and that has made all the difference.
On this less traveled path: Soul Training & Practice
My experience was dramatic!
I am meaning to share a feel-for this shift,
in this post above, and in my following post (part 2)
- ⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿ ✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑
May you find comfortable and graceful ways that serve you
in your own unique Soul Journey:
Transforming anywhere you may be merely or barely Surviving, into Thriving.
the next 2 months,
what I am sharing above is the focus of our weekly drop-in meditations:
Surviving 2 Thriving – HOW do I Shift, in the face of SO Much Shit?
the 2 months after that, is a related topic:
Empowered Empaths – PEACE for Big Feelers, Healers, Lovers & Leaders
You wanna read more?
This is a past offering description around Surviving to Thriving