I wondered this deep down, for a lot of my life.
I was wrong, I was bad.
- BEing who I really was,
- DOing what was natural for me,
- SAYing my truth,
- OWNing my own Power,
- ACTing according to my own Will.
- KNOWing it was Safe and Delicious to be me…
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I was not free to just BE.
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This kind of Authentic Life is a challenge for most of us.
And for those of us whose survival seemed-to rest on *their* truth, not *my* truth;
the challenges multiply exponentially.
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I know I am not alone in this challenge.
Turns out, I am in good company (its actually getting kinda crowded around here ; )
And each of us is Sharing, Learning, Healing, Growing, finding our Way…
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Then a really interesting thing happened here in America:
What we have only heard in the dark, is being spoken in the Light.
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God Bless Donald Trump;
and this Bizarre political season.
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Bigger and Brasher than ever before,
Our very personal narratives have gone very public:
Lights! Camera! Action! watch an unapologetic abuser do his thing… in the light of day.
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Yes, it is stimulating / triggering.
And it is also an incredible chance for us to:
- see clearly,
- to be-with what is,
- then purge this pattern, pop this pimple of our collective consciousness.
WE do this, from the inside out,
No one is gonna do it for us!
But, we can receive a lot of help…
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This Truth is being shared in unlikely places.
If you haven’t seen it, please check this out:
TEEN VOGUE – who would have guessed, the children really will lead us:
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Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America: In this scorched-earth op-ed, Lauren Duca takes on Trump’s systematic attempts to destabilize the truth and weaken the foundation of American freedom.
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Yes please, of course,
let’s stabilize our shared/public relationship with the Truth,
and support our shared, public Freedom.
The sooner, the better!
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Meanwhile, I believe, to do this, we must each
start Here, Now, Within – in our own core –
to stabilize Truth inside ourselves,
in support of our own, inner Freedom.
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Most of us need to start within, shoring-up our own foundations,
before we can make a strong foundation to help heal our world.
So, let’s dig-in.
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“You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate –
your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world.”
~ Shea Emma Fett, in an article about gaslighting
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Our feelings, our opinions, our experiences are not up for debate.
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When / where / if our perceptions are up for debate, it’s crazy-making.
This shows us our foundations have been injured, and we need healing, support.
So, let’s dig-in.
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I have found an antidote to these Crazy-making experiences,
in which my perceptions and experiences seem to be invalidated,
and my very Self feels undermined.
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In building my empowered life, in which I am Captain of my ship!
I have found that, an essential foundation is:
Inner Certainty, trusting the Truth of My Own Experience.
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When we have Inner Certainty, within ourselves:
– of who we are, separate from ‘them’, and
– of our own experience – spiritual and physical;
our foundations become much more solid, and the world opens-up for us.
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With Inner Certainty, we can start our transition
from feeling like Victims, to acting like Victors;
from ‘it is happening to me’ to ‘I am happening to it’.
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With Inner Certainty, we are pointed toward freedom!
– Free to agree or disagree, engage or ignore.
– Free to come or go, as it suits our own needs and our own best interests.
– Free to honor our own inclinations, dance to our own music, sing our own song…
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When we are Free from the inside, we honor other’s freedom, as well.
When we have Inner Certainty, we honor other’s right and ability to have *their* own inner experience, their own truth – even if it varies from their own.
When we are free within, to stand in our own Truth; we have No need to fight with anyone about it… no need to fight ‘them’ for our own truth.
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We can just Be.
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Meanwhile, back to one of the intrinsic parts of many abuse cycles: gaslighting.
Gaslighting is basically the opposite of Certainty, it says:
- Your Truth doesn’t matter – only ’their’ truth matters.
- You Don’t Know your own self or your own experience.
- You cannot trust your own perceptions.
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That sucks.
And when gaslighting is done by someone with power over us:
It not only undermines our freedom and empowerment.
It can eventually break our will and our sanity.
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But here is the lever we can utilize to shift our lives and our world:
- No matter how loud or pervasive the gaslighting,
- From within we can focus on our own game – not engaging their game.
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As adults, we are called to play our own game:
from the core of our true-selves,
and from there, out into the world.
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Most of us don’t actually know how to do this.
But, we can learn!
And then:
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WHEN we stand in our own Truth, deep inside ourselves, to our core, on our own foundation…
We develop our own Inner Certainty.
No matter what ‘they’ do,
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From our own Inner Certainty, within ourselves
(and hopefully more and more into the world) :
- we can Act instead of React,
- we can be Captain of our ship,
- we can be Star, Director, Writer of our own show,
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From our own Inner Certainty, within ourselves
We can begin to play the game that WE choose
– not one that ‘they’ choose for us.
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And from this place of an Empowered Life,
of being in our own Truth, with Certainty and Freedom:
- we can stand empowered and equipped
- to stabilize our public/shared relationship with the Truth, and support Freedom for us all.
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If you got this, Great – Let’s Rock.
If you want support for this, Get it!
If you don’t believe this is even possible:
- please Ask for a miracle;
- please Seek for new information and possibilities, to dream new dreams, to move mountains;
- please Knock down every door that stands-in your way – every Limit, Lie, Hurdle, Glass-ceiling…
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Inner Certainty, trusting the Truth of My Own Experience,
is an essential foundation of My Empowered Life.
I hope you find this for yourself, as well!
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The world needs us Adults to get Free, stand in our Truth, empowered to Act.
So, let’s dig-in.
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in Life! Wendy
Hilde Lindemann argued, the gaslight victim’s ability to resist depends on “her ability to trust her own judgments”.
See more at
https://books.google.com/books?id=EjL9qyGmJF4C&pg=PA31#v=onepage&q&f=false
https://www.verywell.com/the-asch-conformity-experiments-2794996
Related, The Asch Conformity Experiments