what it could look like to Play Our Own Game?

This poem below, by Rudyard Kipling
points to what it could look like to
Live our Own Life,
Play our Own Game,
BE Captain of our Lives.
It is a big ‘perfect picture’, an ideal.
We mere humans don’t tend to attain this extraordinary way of being, every minute ; )
But, it definitely throws a picture of how we can choose to set our sail.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
What say you?
Does this inspire? demoralize?
Does any phrase or section especially call-to you ? annoy you?
I would love to hear your feedback.
in Life! Wendy

Inner Certainty, trusting the Truth of My Own Experience: an essential foundation of My Empowered Life

Am I crazy?
I wondered this deep down, for a lot of my life.
My perceptions / experience / reality differed from ‘theirs’.
But, I had been told so often, with much force, in fear and trembling:
I was wrong, I was bad.
I believed this way down deep.
I had a hard time knowing my own truth, and walking in it.
  • BEing who I really was,
  • DOing what was natural for me,
  • SAYing my truth,
  • OWNing my own Power,
  • ACTing according to my own Will.
  • KNOWing it was Safe and Delicious to be me…

I was not free to just BE.
This kind of Authentic Life is a challenge for most of us.
And for those of us whose survival seemed-to rest on *their* truth, not *my* truth;
the challenges multiply exponentially.
I know I am not alone in this challenge.
Turns out, I am in good company (its actually getting kinda crowded around here ; )
And each of us is Sharing, Learning, Healing, Growing, finding our Way…
Then a really interesting thing happened here in America:
What we have only heard in the dark, is being spoken in the Light.
God Bless Donald Trump;
and this Bizarre political season.
Bigger and Brasher than ever before,
Our very personal narratives have gone very public:
Lights! Camera! Action! watch an unapologetic abuser do his thing… in the light of day.
Yes, it is stimulating / triggering.
And it is also an incredible chance for us to:

  • see clearly,
  • to be-with what is,
  • then purge this pattern, pop this pimple of our collective consciousness.

WE do this, from the inside out,
No one is gonna do it for us!
But, we can receive a lot of help…
This Truth is being shared in unlikely places.
If you haven’t seen it, please check this out:
TEEN VOGUE – who would have guessed, the children really will lead us:
Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America: In this scorched-earth op-ed, Lauren Duca takes on Trump’s systematic attempts to destabilize the truth and weaken the foundation of American freedom.
Yes please, of course,
let’s stabilize our shared/public relationship with the Truth,
and support our shared, public Freedom.
The sooner, the better!
Meanwhile, I believe, to do this, we must each
start Here, Now, Within – in our own core –
to stabilize Truth inside ourselves,
in support of our own, inner Freedom.
Most of us need to start within, shoring-up our own foundations,
before we can make a strong foundation to help heal our world.
So, let’s dig-in.
“You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate  –
your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world.”
~ Shea Emma Fett, in an article about gaslighting
Our feelings, our opinions, our experiences are not up for debate.
When / where / if our perceptions are up for debate, it’s crazy-making.
This shows us our foundations have been injured, and we need healing, support.
So, let’s dig-in.
I have found an antidote to these Crazy-making experiences,
in which my perceptions and experiences seem to be invalidated,
and my very Self feels undermined.
In building my empowered life, in which I am Captain of my ship!
I have found that, an essential foundation is:
Inner Certainty, trusting the Truth of My Own Experience.
When we have Inner Certainty, within ourselves:
– of who we are, separate from ‘them’, and
– of our own experience – spiritual and physical;
our foundations become much more solid, and the world opens-up for us.
With Inner Certainty, we can start our transition
from feeling like Victims, to acting like Victors;
from ‘it is happening to me’ to ‘I am happening to it’.
With Inner Certainty, we are pointed toward freedom!
– Free to agree or disagree, engage or ignore.
– Free to come or go, as it suits our own needs and our own best interests.
– Free to honor our own inclinations, dance to our own music, sing our own song…
When we are Free from the inside, we honor other’s freedom, as well.
When we have Inner Certainty, we honor other’s right and ability to have *their* own inner experience, their own truth – even if it varies from their own.
When we are free within, to stand in our own Truth; we have No need to fight with anyone about it… no need to fight ‘them’ for our own truth.
We can just Be.
Meanwhile, back to one of the intrinsic parts of many abuse cycles: gaslighting.
Gaslighting is basically the opposite of Certainty, it says:

  • Your Truth doesn’t matter – only ’their’ truth matters.
  • You Don’t Know your own self or your own experience.
  • You cannot trust your own perceptions.

That sucks.
And when gaslighting is done by someone with power over us:
It not only undermines our freedom and empowerment.
It can eventually break our will and our sanity.
But here is the lever we can utilize to shift our lives and our world:

  • No matter how loud or pervasive the gaslighting,
  • From within we can focus on our own game – not engaging their game.

As adults, we are called to play our own game:
from the core of our true-selves,
and from there, out into the world.
Most of us don’t actually know how to do this.
But, we can learn!
And then:
WHEN we stand in our own Truth, deep inside ourselves, to our core, on our own foundation…
We develop our own Inner Certainty.
No matter what ‘they’ do,
From our own Inner Certainty, within ourselves
(and hopefully more and more into the world) :

  • we can Act instead of React,
  • we can be Captain of our ship,
  • we can be Star, Director, Writer of our own show,

From our own Inner Certainty, within ourselves
We can begin to play the game that WE choose
– not one that ‘they’ choose for us.
And from this place of an Empowered Life,
of being in our own Truth, with Certainty and Freedom:

  • we can stand empowered and equipped
  • to stabilize our public/shared relationship with the Truth, and support Freedom for us all.

If you got this, Great – Let’s Rock.
If you want support for this, Get it!
If you don’t believe this is even possible:

  • please Ask for a miracle;
  • please Seek for new information and possibilities, to dream new dreams, to move mountains;
  • please Knock down every door that stands-in your way – every Limit, Lie, Hurdle, Glass-ceiling…

Inner Certainty, trusting the Truth of My Own Experience,
is an essential foundation of My Empowered Life.
I hope you find this for yourself, as well!
The world needs us Adults to get Free, stand in our Truth, empowered to Act.
So, let’s dig-in.
in Life! Wendy

How do we WIN? When can we CELEBRATE?

When we are on our path,
when I am ME, Playing My Own Game…
when you are YOU, Playing Your Own Game;
Not that anyone else has to lose.
Actually the opposite, they are inspired to be on their path too!
We can Each WIN!
We WIN when we Dance our OWN Dance,
We WIN when we Sing our OWN Song.
Until our last breath,
our Unique Journey on this Earth is Never Complete.
We are Blessed to Run this Beautiful Race, all the days of our lives.
So, we must allow ourselves to enjoy the Journey, not just the destination.
We get-to savor the moments, and make the most of each one.
When we are on our unique path, We WIN.
So, we celebrate at each turning-point, big and small.
I encourage us to go beyond this relatively normal practice;
How about: Every moment, in every Breath, in every Step:
We WIN, and we celebrate.
This energy of Celebration
  • helps our Momentum,
  • gives us Encouragement and
  • opens us to Deliciousness.

Hard to Argue!

Of course we know, in the Game of life, in this sandbox of dualism:
Sometimes we overtly win, and sometimes lose… a game, a scenario, an investment…
Still, we WIN.
And, we have Permission, we are Blessed-to Celebrate,
regardless of what the Outcome looks-like.
Wait right there, missy!
‘regardless of what the Outcome looks-like’???
I let you get away-with that ‘sandbox of dualism’ crap, don’t think I missed that;
but this is too much!
When we lose, we lose, period.
When we lose in the Earth game, in big ways, in small ways:
WHY do we WIN?
HOW can we Celebrate?

Here are SOME of my answers:

  • Because we are HERE, in this LIFE, against all odds.
  • Because we are called to BE Ourselves, and to DO Our-thing, against all odds.
  • Because we can PLAY FULL-OUT, we can ‘go for the ball’ with Everything we’ve Got…. in this Life, against all odds.
And because, amazingly,
everyone we meet, everything we do, every Game we Play…
is an invitation for us:
  • to Learn, to Grow, to Heal, to Blossom,
  • to Love, to Deepen into Life, Truth, Light,
  • to Transform our Lives, our relationships, our world.

These are SOME of my answers.
What are yours?
  • How do we WIN?
  • When can we CELEBRATE?
Blessings on your Unique Path!

I saw the pic, now posted on top of this post,
and I was inspired to share
some of the thoughts and practices I have been entertaining,
since supporting Lynn Brown‘s radio show, earlier this week.  Inspiring stuff!